It’s a plot, I tell ya!

I kinda heart conspiracy theories.  

I’m not full blown paranoid but I do like to lurk in the doorway.

 Within the last 24 hours I have cemented two official theories.

1) The food industry and expiration dates.

The expiration date on food is meerly a freshness guideline. Properly stored (and sometimes not so properly) food can last anywhere from 7 to 14 (sometimes more) days past it’s inky package tattoo. My theory? Mass consumerism! If you go by the date and toss the tidbit in the trash, well then you will simply have to go by more. And when that date comes around again (mind you, it is still yummy and edible) the cycle repeats. You could end up buying 4x the amount you would if you tossed according your 5 senses instead of listening to “the man”.  Don’t do it! The Man lies!!!

2) Airline “Customer Service”

You book a flight. You change your mind. You cancel that flight. They penalize you with a service fee and a cancellation fee. They then issue you a “credit” for the remainder. A credit with an experation date (we all know how I feel about expiration dates by now). When you go to use said credit, you can not access it with an on-line purchase (which is how you obtained it in the first place) but must call the Customer Service Line. There they stall, confuse and irritate you with their incompetance and dunderheadedness (my newest favourite word!) until you want to slam down the phone and just buy the dang ticket outright on the website. Not to mention if you manage to refrain from snapping the handset in two or from letting a torrent of foul language slip from your lips and actually attempt to proceed with the transaction, the hit you with a big ol’ flight change fee and a service fee for calling them (Like you had a choice!!!). 


The theory? They make it as difficult as possible so that you will not even attempt to ever again use any form of credit thereby fattening their bottom line.

Care to guess what I’ve been doing all day?


~ by duncks on March 7, 2008.

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